Sunday 12 July 2015

DR.JOHN'S CASE NOTES : BAWLUS  INFANTO TORMENTA  ( OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE CRY-BABY BULLY SYNDROME )

Once upon a time when men were men , there was a big difference between bullies and cry babies. The former were strong rock hard aggressors while the latter were weak , feeble ,  I'm-telling-my mum-about-you-did-to-me wimps.
Fast forward the last four decades and things are not so clear cut. This is the age of cry baby bullies, a hideous hybrid of victim and victor , weeper and walloper. In the bizarre world of bridge they are everywhere , these duplicitous Pushmi-Pullyus.
At the table , when nerves are fraught and tempers are high ,  the cry baby bully will scream abuse at his woeful partners or annoying opponents until they decide to snap back with equal venom. At this point the aggressor immediately changes into a blubbering victim , drowning in floods of tears , threatening to take his ball home......or fleeing to the bar room area where he " feels  safe ". The hypocrisy of those players affected by bawlus infanto tormenta is overwhelming : they constantly bang on about their own mental fragility yet mock others in an unceasing and merciless fashion , without any concern whatsoever for their feelings.
Cry baby bullies are serial complainers , who crave help and support from others in skillfully connived vendetta campaigns to get plain speaking members , who had the gall to answer back and retaliate, removed from the club.
Indeed , many eminent psycho-analysts such as myself , define this type of behaviour as an unusual variant of the Munchhausen's syndrome: manipulating others to bring misery upon themselves in order to complain about it and seek sympathy from caring bystanders. The aggressive responses which inevitably come their way are , of course , completely self-induced. 
Nevertheless cry baby bullies usually end up being abandoned and isolated , as club members come to realize the type of person they really are. Moreover , whenever sufferers of this disturbing condition  believe " others "  have adopted an opposite point of view.....shock..... horror.....to theirs , they feel cheated and betrayed. Then they start claiming that the presence of anyone opposed to them are actually violating their " safe territory " , even though they are standing several yards away. Cry baby bullies besiege  committee members to support them in their hour of need to act upon their complaints and wishes. Otherwise they too will be subjected both tears and wrath , before finding themselves in the firing line with allegations of gross incompetence and neglect of duty. 
This syndrome above all others sums up why the world of bridge is so utterly bizarre ! 



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