Friday 25 April 2014

BIGOT-JOHNSON GETS CONFRONTED BY AN IRATE MEMBER.......

Member ( M ) : I didn't know that this year's AGM had already taken place ?
B-J: You weren't invited...... just the chosen few who came round to my house for tea and buns
M : Is there anything I need to know about ?
B-J : Nothing important ....other than membership terms have now changed to fixed one year periods, requiring everybody to reapply for membership every 12 months
M : Oh.....and will membership renewal be automatic ?
B-J : Good God no....
M : Oh....so what happens then ?  Who decides ?
B-J : A newly formed select sub-committee will vet all membership renewal applications very closely indeed. No stone will be left unturned. If there are any black marks against a member's name , or skeletons in his cupboard ,  it's curtains for him or her. There's no appeal......their decision is final.
M : Oh....and who's chairing this sub-committee ?
B-J : Me of course......just to make sure nothing goes amiss
M : Oh.... but what was wrong with automatic renewals ?
B-J : You muppethead.....by implementing this twelve monthly re-admission process,  the committee has found a legally fool proof way of getting rid of members who are deemed to have lowered the tone of the place .......as well as those clearly responsible for creating an unpleasant and off putting atmosphere
M : Such as ...?
B-J : What ...you want the full list ?
M : Yes....
B-J : All those members the sub-committee perceives as  tosspots  , awkward bastards , dissidents , trouble-makers, rogues , agitators , sanctimonious know-alls , bad hats , hecklers , firebrands , loud  mouths , gossip mongers, whistle blowers , critics , bible-bashers , inciters , rotten apples , agent provocateurs , stirrers , meddlers , plus a load of other objectionable sorts....
M : So who is likely to survive this cull ?
B-J : Well you're bloody not for sure......asking all these damn impertinent questions
M : This is an outrage.....I see this as an abuse of power ....members could be kicked on any number of whimsical pretexts......especially if their faces don't fit
B-J : Excuse me.....there's no abuse of power......just the exquisite use of power..... replacing problematic, bitterly contested expulsions with trouble-free, easy as pie , ever-so sweet , fait accompli exclusions
M : I'm speechless !
B-J : Hallelujah ..... that saves me the bother of getting my knuckleduster out 
  
   

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