Monday 14 January 2013

BENIGN BC SUB-ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY RULE No.1937.....

(a) Sniffing and snorting are not only regarded as bad habits, but also a major noise distraction to others wishing to concentrate in a quiet and still environment.
(b) Sniffing the seats vacated by lady members is absolutely forbidden, irrespective of how severe one's compulsion to behave in a lewd and perverse way.
(c) Snorting will be regarded as aggressive and offensive behaviour, especially if accompanied by other bullish actions, such as rearing one's head, scraping the floor with one's foot and flaring one's nostrils.
(d) Sniffing, even when it is the consequence of failing to have a tissue or handkerchief to hand, will be deemed as a violation of rule 1568, which deals with the wanton and reckless disregard of the health ( and safety ) of other members. Turning up the club with some nasty contagious bug can only be viewed as planning an assault by means of germ warfare.  

Any breach of one or more of the above will result in an automatic 3 month suspension, unless the offending member agrees to attend 12 sessions ( cost £240 ) run by the more hoity toity members of the ruling committee on " good manners, etiquette,  personal hygiene and grooming ". 

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