A 'Must Read' blog for all motorists currently being shafted by morally bankrupt private car parking companies as well as aspiring players and addicts of the game Bridge.
Friday 5 October 2012
THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY .....( more definitions from an unknown guest contributor )
NEPOMUCEN SAID .....
Tram Tickets - worthless cards that usually take you for a ride down a one-way street
Off his/her head - originally the decapitated bodily state of two of Henry VIII's wives, thought to have inspired the 'headless chicken' epithet used to describe partner's totally senseless play
Enemy - those hatchet-faced opponents who insist on trying to defeat you in as determined a way as you would do it to them
Bagatelle - a children's traditional mechanical game but now used to describe the most straightforward contract or line of play available
Bullet - i) any of the four Aces in the pack or
- ii) the bitter tablet which you are forced to bite silently as partner explains in depth the number of ways that you have just gone wrong
Minus 200 - the holy grail in scoring of a bridge hand when incurred by the enemy [qv] but the dreaded score when incurred by your own side, to be expected on several occasions each and every time you partner the magnificent Club Professional
Plus 200 - the score when exactly eleven tricks are made in a grossly underbid major suit contract, especially when the rest of the field has bid game and also taken eleven tricks.
Common sense - an elusive concept that means something different to each person, often used as a substitute reason for committees to justify unconstitutional, illegal and stupid decisions that they may have taken
Plus 100 - the number of gerrymandered members needed to pack an AGM to rig the election of key officers onto a committee
Minus 2000 - (i) the horrendous penalty incurred when going down 7 in doubled vulnerable contract
- (ii) the amount of money that will disappear from the club's bank account each month once parasitic lawyers are called in to help resolve a dispute
Bias
- i) an uneven weight built in to a bowling wood to give it a curving path or
- ii) the 'curved ball' all-else-fails approach by a committee hell bent on ridding the club of an unpopular player
Sorry - a word of genuine regret in most mouths , but one which is never used by those who are in constant denial
Bridgemate - not a term to describe partner, but a very expensive and fragile, aerodynamic duplicate bridge scoring device often seen moving across a table at speed
Rule 19 - the EBU Rule that explains the alternative disciplinary measures available to a TD in the event of an infringement during play, the non-application of which could be justified by the aforementioned person should he or she be rendered into a state of shock and disbelief , having witnessed the miracle of a Bridgemate in flight [qv]
Off his/her head - originally the decapitated bodily state of two of Henry VIII's wives, thought to have inspired the 'headless chicken' epithet used to describe partner's totally senseless play
Enemy - those hatchet-faced opponents who insist on trying to defeat you in as determined a way as you would do it to them
Bagatelle - a children's traditional mechanical game but now used to describe the most straightforward contract or line of play available
Bullet - i) any of the four Aces in the pack or
- ii) the bitter tablet which you are forced to bite silently as partner explains in depth the number of ways that you have just gone wrong
Minus 200 - the holy grail in scoring of a bridge hand when incurred by the enemy [qv] but the dreaded score when incurred by your own side, to be expected on several occasions each and every time you partner the magnificent Club Professional
Plus 200 - the score when exactly eleven tricks are made in a grossly underbid major suit contract, especially when the rest of the field has bid game and also taken eleven tricks.
Common sense - an elusive concept that means something different to each person, often used as a substitute reason for committees to justify unconstitutional, illegal and stupid decisions that they may have taken
Minus 2000 - (i) the horrendous penalty incurred when going down 7 in doubled vulnerable contract
- (ii) the amount of money that will disappear from the club's bank account each month once parasitic lawyers are called in to help resolve a dispute
Bias
- i) an uneven weight built in to a bowling wood to give it a curving path or
- ii) the 'curved ball' all-else-fails approach by a committee hell bent on ridding the club of an unpopular player
Sorry - a word of genuine regret in most mouths , but one which is never used by those who are in constant denial
Bridgemate - not a term to describe partner, but a very expensive and fragile, aerodynamic duplicate bridge scoring device often seen moving across a table at speed
Rule 19 - the EBU Rule that explains the alternative disciplinary measures available to a TD in the event of an infringement during play, the non-application of which could be justified by the aforementioned person should he or she be rendered into a state of shock and disbelief , having witnessed the miracle of a Bridgemate in flight [qv]