Monday 19 September 2011

DR. SIGMUND T. SCHUKELGRUBER : BRIDGE POET LAUREATE
( This latest poem was inspired by the writing of Otis Redding, who was shocked and mortified over the way many bridge players bid and played the cards......... which was simply pitiful. Entitled " Mr. Pitiful " it sums up how hopeless and inept some players are at bridge.)
Call me Mr. Pitiful
Hey, that's my name
Call me Mr. Pitiful
That's the nature of my game
How can I explain to you
Just how poor I am
What reasons can there be
For binning every slam
Call me Mr. Pitiful
I so deserve that name
Call me Mr. Pitiful
That's how I got my fame
What people don't understand
Is why my play's so bad
Maybe I'm just brain dead
Or maybe I'm just plain mad
Call me Mr. Pitiful
Cus baby that' my name
Call me Mr. Pitiful
Hey it's not funny being lame
I can't register the bidding
I play the cards like a dog
Problems are all beyond me
I live in a permanent fog
Call me Mr. Pitiful
It's such a sarky name
Others may have coined it
But I will take the blame
It really hurts to watch me
I haven't a bloody clue
To suggest I'm even average
Is miles from being true
Call me Mr. Pitiful
It really does sound right
You could spot me in a crowd
I'm that sad and wretched sight
Call me Mr. Pitiful
Trust me I don't mind
It's not as though I'm on my own
There are hundreds of my kind

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