Monday 4 July 2011

DR. SIGMUND T. SCHUKELGRUBER INTERVIEWS THE DESIGNER OF THE FLYING BRIDGE MATE.............
Dr : What inspired you to hit upon a design that resembles a piece of cut cheese that looks like a giant door wedge ?
Des : Well, my first job was working for NASA on small lightweight space craft design....
Dr : I can see its airborne potential, but what were the key design principles behinds its shape and size ?
Des : Well, firstly it had to have a modern and ergonomic design, which enabled it to fit neatly on every bridge table...
Dr : And....of course....to fit snugly into a person's hand ?
Des : Yes.....and being very much aware of how bridge players lose their cool and look around for an object to throw, I set about designing the bridgemate to provide them with a handy solution
Dr : So I take it then the design included many aerodynamic qualities ?
Des : Indeed, it did.....the key aspects of its wedge shape meant it could fly through the air at phenomenal speed, if launched with sufficient thrust from a throwing hand. The relationship of its surfaces to its shape and mass established near perfect aerodynamic configuration sizing parameters
Dr : Amazing......yes, I do recall reading an article in the Bridge World, where the Slaughter House Bridge Club hold bridgemate throwing competitions every month. One chap even managed to hurl one well over 80 metres !
Des : Yes.....its projection capability is tremendous, and its small lightweight body ensured even the frailest of people could manage 15 metres without any difficulty. It was very important that the drag co-efficient factor was kept to an absolute minimum
Dr : Wow....but were there any other design factors taken on board, so to speak ?
Des : Oh yes........its frame and case design, along with its aerodynamic size equations of motion, both of which helped maximise flight performance........plus target range prediction and likely flight path trajectories.
Dr : Boy....do you know your stuff...
Des : It's all do to my passion and love of Stars Wars....
Dr : And what of the future......any more flying objects in mind ?
Des : So glad you asked.....I'm now working on packs of playing cards....hoping to design a very firm but thin, lacquered playing card which has the capability of being flicked with unerring accuracy and power towards its intended target. Its razor sharp edges should be able to penetrate the toughest of outer-clothing and human skin.
Dr : You're insane......
Des : Indeed I am.....

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