Wednesday 11 May 2011

AS AN AGEING BRIDGE PLAYER YOU KNOW YOU'RE OVER THE HILL WHEN......
- it's easier to remember a hand you picked up 40 years ago than the one just previously played
- you arrive at the club wearing odd socks and slippers
- any mention of a " laydown " fills your mind with comforting thoughts of soft fluffy pillows
- you call for dummy to ruff a suit when playing in a NT contract
- having been dealt a weak hand with seven red cards, you immediately open the bidding with a 3-level pre-empt
- gravity becomes your worst enemy
- you begin every other sentence with " in my day....."
- doctors become your first choice partners
- having asked partner to " support " you, he imediately rushes round the table to offer assistance
- realising the significance of being in the pass out seat, the presence of smelling salts in the club's first-aid box becomes a very reassuring thought
- having bid and made a contract at break-neck speed, opponents still call the director over bitterly complaining about your slow play
- partners having good values and great support for your major, either elect to play the contract in no trumps, or make a minimum raise in your suit
- you are never quite certain that the only spade left in play, which happens to be in your hand, is a master

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