" What ho.......Binky bowles here.......playing pussy....looking down on another quick squirty.....with our boys up against some nasty enemy bandits. Nobby North....jolly good fellow.....takes no shit from anyone.....unforunately has a lightweight load....but not one for taking a dim view......and not one for baling out either.......being a right-up-and-at-'em sort.....could end up going for burton should things go belly up....."one digger"...... on his jack to four and two lone bullets. Bandit a 3 o'clock starts flapping....completely scuttled by that bid....... what with his 10 HCPs and 6 good diggers. Damn good show his kite stayed grounded......wings well clipped........so the obvious pass flies in. Wizzo sitting South is unfortunately twitching.......still recovering from ditching his can in the Briney from last sortie. Bally fool pranged up bidding to end up in how's your father. Seems he's asking for TD to visit BIFFY for a number two and a chill pill. Right munter.........
( One minute later ).......Bully beef ....he's back.....what a geezer......1NT response hits the deck on his ropey 4 count. That's slack. Bandit at 9 o'clock .....right half-pint hero.....sees possibility of a sausage in the soup........some billy-hen penny has dropped a nifty one in the custard.....and with a 17 count no one is flipping him over belly up....."double"......pommie bashing time......these buggers from Blighty need to be shot down in flames.
Dicey-do situation now for Nobby.....clearly feeling very squiffy......nasty gnats to his right and left ready to rat-tat-tat....what a bummer. Such a crate of cabbages in his hands....enemy ready to bag his eggs and fours. Well, he seems well up for it...."redouble"......Eastie quietly passes by. Wizzo now in jankers.....going for a packet well imminent.....this bunch of monkeys mean business......a do-or-die bid is called for....."2 clubs".....while cunningly camouflages his 6 diamond bagger.
Bait taken....fish hooked......bandit reckons he's the one shooting fish in a barrel........."double".....Charlie choppers.....Nobby stuffed.....scrambling to find a Mae West.............two more passes fly by......"2 diamonds" by Wizzo.....Bandit doubles like a right erk......bidding well over......skirmish ends with 2D making. So with the bandits binning the chance to bid and make 3NT their way......the minus 780 swing brings the skanks crashing down to earth. Spiffing good show eh?....
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