DR. JOHN'S CASE NOTES....................................

Just when I thought I had reviewed all the major afflictions which have devastated bridge players across the world, lo and behold I chanced upon another, whilst reading a recent copy of The Lancet. The article in question, written by Neil Peck ( a former student of mine ), almost knocked me off my perch. At first I doubted the author's conclusions, but detailed case notes fully justified his findings. This disorder appears to be so commonplace, I am amazed as to why I had never spotted or suspected its presence before. The symptoms all seemed to indicate and show that the afflicted person is plagued by a very serious long term psychological problem.

Ignoread Vicede Mentia is an extremely disturbing condition, which is not linked to old age and the onset of grumpiness, obstinacy, and stubbornness. Sufferers can be young and old alike , of both genders, from a multitude of socio-economic backgrounds. DNA evidence seems to indicate that there is a genetic predisposition to behave in an ignorant and dismissive way.

In every case, no matter what advice has been given to the victim on how to improve his/her game, it is immediately ignored. Even if victims go through the charade of listening and agreeing to take on board the advice offered, they immediately discard it, or choose to forget it. Even if the advice is volunteered over and over again from a number of top players and experts, it makes no difference whatsoever. Victims of this rare form of dementia simply appear to have empty heads. Nothing said to them will ever be recalled, or taken on board for future reference.

This condition was first diagnosed by Neil , during a pairs event at the Cardinals Bridge Club in 2008. Here a farmer, Eli D'Gayne, was spitting feathers about his hapless half-brother, partner Bryn Deed. " That useless git is either daft or deaf. 'E never listens to a bloody word I say. In one ear...out the other. It's like floggin' a dead horse ". As it happens Neil's break though in diagnosing this condition has meant that players, previously berated for their wilful refusal to heed advice, are now more likely to be treated more sympathetically. Their purported ignorance is not a conscious decision to be awkward, but a genetic blueprint that so ingrained into their psyche, they simply can't stop themselves behaving this way. As yet, no drugs or therapy programmes have proved successful in arresting or subduing the symptoms.