Saturday 19 September 2009

THE WORLD'S SHORTIST LISTS .....................................By Carp

( Applicable to any bridge club up and down the country )

  • Members who do not suffer from rather disturbing psychological disorders
  • Slow players who after repeated warnings have since moved up a gear
  • Members under the age of 40
  • Tournament Directors who have left a table with everyone happy
  • Long standing members who with genuine modesty still see themselves as non-experts
  • New members (2008-9)
  • Members who regularly turn up to AGMs
  • Memnbers who actually turned up to the last AGM
  • Top players willing to play with ( and help bring on ) relative newcomers to the game
  • Members who don't begrudge a 50p increase in table money
  • Members who first acknowledge their mistakes before laying blame on partner
  • Players whose goodwill ( and generous spirit ) matches their competitive zeal
  • Members who are prepared to come out of self denial and acknowledge their psychological disorders
  • Members who don't keep lists....... regarding other members' misdemeanours
  • Players who as self-appointed experts actually practice what they preach
  • Bridge bullies who have been properly brought to account and reprimanded
  • Female members who have broken into the club's male-dominated elite of top team players

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