THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY...................................................................................

• Menace : a trouble-maker who needs to be isolated in some way
• Bust : either a hand without values or the major attribute of your club's most sought after female player
• Filth : a term given to a hand that contains a few HCPs but offers little in the way of being useful. It is was first coined by a player who pre-empted 3 hearts on six to the king and nothing else. When his partner bid 3NT only to go 5 off doubled for minus 1100, he was immediately rounded on for not having his bid. The well documented reply was swift and instructive: " Listen, you ought to know that some of my non-vulnerable pre-empts can be bid on filth ! "
• Game : the first objective in the quest for winning a rubber. Then having got the rubber, the next objective is to find a partner who is far more able and willing
• Green card : an item one must have to pass through USA customs if intending to earn a living as a bridge professional in that country
• Shuffle : the sad and distressing way that most bridge club members move their feet as they struggle to get around the tables